Here's a reminder of what the red flags playlist entails, according to Taylor:
I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life
“This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing the red flags possibly resulting in moments of denial and maybe a little bit of delusion… results may vary.”
She put the following tracks on the list:
-
Lavender Haze, Snow On The Beach (More Lana Version), Sweet Nothing, Glitch, Betty, Willow, Cruel Summer, Lover, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, False God, Style, Wildest Dreams, Treacherous, Untouchable, That’s When, Ours, Superman, Bejeweled
I think there is a distinction to be made within this list. Some of the songs seem to be Taylor being delusional that this relationship will be the big happy ending she wants. But I suspect the reluctance to accept things as they are aren't all necessarily due to the person being toxic or the pairing negative for her. Some of the songs in the red flag category are due to being parentally disallowed, societally unacceptable, or religiously denounced. The relationship will inevitably fail because of outside forces-and it's in the denial category because Taylor won't see that in the moment-she badly wants to believe it can happen despite outside hostility.
Untouchable
Taylor appraises the girl as precious and impossible to get near like the pretty stars in the sky. And the adults notice the love between the two.
Ours
...my time is theirs
Taylor is not autonomous. She has her career/business to think about.
Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, but my choice is you
This relationship is not socially acceptable for some reason. Small-minded (nothing else to do) people are judgmental about the paring.
Side-note: The following line seems like, what? Who throws rocks at things that shine? Is she trying to say skipping stones on water? But that's kind of a peaceful, natural hobby, not a hater's pastime... And before I get into this just remember a song can have more than one inspiration. There can be subtext. There could be a public narrative and a more private meaning. There could be an A side and a B side to it, so to speak. So if you heard something else, two things can be true! The word SHINE makes more sense if you look at the lyrics of her song, Hey Stephen, which I think is about her having gay-dar about a male school friend...
Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving
[sometimes gay people are straight-passing]But I know I saw a light in you
[the "light" being queerness]...And I didn't say half the things I wanted to
[maybe she wanted to come out, maybe she wanted to question him]
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window/I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
[girls are hitting on this boy, but his queer buddy will be his friend crushes, breakups, coming out, through it all]Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone
[She is stigmatized for liking girls, but she just found a gay friend who understands what she's going through]
You = Another subject in the song. Kinda like an earlier version of ...Ready for it where the verses are to a guy but the chorus is for the female love interest. Is this YOU a female love interest of Taylor's?
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, soCome feel this magic I've been feeling since I met youCan't help it if there's no one elseMmm, I can't help myself
[being fruity is not a choice]
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
[she's on the DL about her sexuality]So I've got some things to say to you (ha)
[Taylor finally found someone who has this in common with her]I've seen it all, so I thoughtBut I never seen nobody shine the way you do
[shine is her way of saying he pings her gay-dar]
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
[she can tell he's queer by the way he walks and talks]It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
[she says there's beauty in his homosexuality-don't change/repress it]Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving?
[They are alone and ostracized in conservative TN for being different]I think you and I should stay the same
[Taylor tells Stephen it's other people with the problem, not them for being homos]
They're dimming the street lightsYou're perfect for meWhy aren't you here tonight?I'm waiting alone now
[Taylor is a lonely gay kid and thinks it would be more fun if TWO lonely gay kids hung out together]So come on and come out
[COME OUT??!]And pull me nearAnd shine, shine, shine
[Come out and shine x3, Like when you live openly you shine extra gay, ping exponentially?]
Hey Stephen, I could give you 50 reasonsWhy I should be the one you chooseAll those other girls, well, they're beautiful
[She says this dismissively because female beauty is not what Stephen, a gay boy, is looking for]But would they write a song for you? (Ha-ha)
[Stephen should choose to hang out with Taylor because she knows, doesn't have romantic expectations, and she's funny]
Back to OURS and SHINE:
People throw rocks at things that shine
These judgmental people are throwing rocks at the gays. Small-minded people figuratively and sometimes actually throw stones at the queers.
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water's rough
But this love is ours
Love is especially hard for same-sex partners. Stakes are high, because it can be life or death. Water's rough because gay marriage wasn't even legal when she penned this song.
And it's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong and
Your hands are tough, but they are where mine belong and
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you
People are saying this relationship is immoral. Taylor brings up faith, a very loaded word because a lot of churches and religions, in particular, denounce homosexuality...
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos
Will be ignored, 'cause my heart is yours
And her dad, a conservative, Boomer, Republican doesn't like this person's appearance (and who knows what else). But Taylor discounts all of the other people's opinions because the love is just between the two people. But also, it's in this section because the homophobia is pervasive and maybe she currently feels that she was delusional back then in trying to ignore it.
Mary's Song (oh my my)
This one incorporates elements from Untouchable and we see SHINE from Hey Stephen and Ours again.
She said, I was seven and you were nine
Ambiguous who is the she that is talking. Could be younger Taylor, the neighbor girl, or the mothers that come into the story a bit later. But why the mystery???
I looked at you like the stars that shineIn the sky, the pretty lights
There's those untouchable, unattainable stars and the light-shining bright, from within, perhaps?
And our daddies used to joke about the two of usGrowing up and falling in love and our mamas smiledAnd rolled their eyes and said oh my my my
When these kids are young the daddies joke about them being in love and the mamas would knowingly roll their eyes.
Well, I was sixteen when suddenlyI wasn't that little girl you used to seeBut your eyes still shined like pretty lights
Here's those lights again. She saw the light in Stephen, and the crush is lit from within in Snow on the Beach.
And our daddies used to joke about the two of usThey never believed we'd really fall in loveAnd our mamas smiled and rolled their eyesAnd said oh my my my
Now that the neighbor kids are teens, the daddies change their tune and are kind of snide, while the mamas patronize their husbands, still knowingly.
Two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to meThe slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
Now, Taylor speaks of true intimacy and physical romance with the neighbor.
She proceeds to imagine an entire lifetime with this person: dating, proposal, marriage where the mamas and the town were supportive (I don't know where the daddies went, I guess leavin' like a father...), having their own children, and growing old together.
A few years had gone and come aroundWe were sitting at our favorite spot in townAnd you looked at me, got down on one knee
Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisleOur whole town came and our mamas criedYou said I do and I did tooTake me home where we met so many years beforeWe'll rock our babies on that very front porchAfter all this time, you and I
I'll be eighty-seven; you'll be eighty-nine
It's a really sweet thought experiment.
I'll still look at you like the stars that shineIn the sky, oh my my my
But I'd put it on Taylor's delusional list because there's those darned, untouchable stars again, signifying that this neighbor is a female, thus this whole thing was a pipe dream.
Snow on the Beach
Life is emotionally abusive
[especially for the LGBTQ community]
I'm unglued, thanks to you
[crushing or falling in love with a woman is bittersweet because it feels good but it's also scary and can bring a sense of foreboding or dread due to anticipated reactions of others.]
Weird but fuckin' beautiful
[weird = queer; love in all forms is beautiful]
You wanting me tonight feels impossible
[Taylor feels incredulous a woman could like her back. Also, statistically, same-sex pairings are more rare.]
I've never seen someone lit from within
[Could be an indication of goodness, but also could be pinging/flaming as queer too.]
My smile is like I won a contestAnd to hide that would be so dishonestAnd it's fine to fake it 'til you make it
[Taylor is happy about this crush. Why does she have to hide her smile/happiness? Because society, especially business and capitalism is still unaccepting of queerness.]
I (I) can't (can't) speak afraid to jinx itI (I) don't (don't) even dare to wish it
Can this be a real thing? Can it?
Here is a primary delusional train of thought. Taylor is holding her breath because it seems unrealistic that this person could like her back, and that the relationship could move forward unimpeded.
Treacherous
Put your lips close to mineAs long as they don't touch
very tentative, perhaps not wanting to cross a line into stigmatized territory.
Out of focus, eye to eye'Til the gravity's too much
The use of “gravity” in the song is an example of a force that is stronger than individual choices. In the same way gravity is non-negotiable physics so is this love affair.
And I'll do anything you sayIf you say it with your handsAnd I'd be smart to walk awayBut you're quicksand
Real quick, some science that's important to the meaning of the song: Just a 1% change in stress caused the viscosity of the mixture to drop by a factor of nearly a million, turning the quicksand mixture from a solid to gooey liquid. And quicksand's density is twice that of the human body so it rarely completely engulfs people and animals.
So Taylor is very sensitive to the female touch, as quicksand is highly sensitive to the forces applied to it.
It’s impossible for you to sink into quicksand — unless you struggle. And mastermind Taylor, cannot actually go with the flow and leave things to feeling (and chance). She's gonna kick and claw and struggle (aka overthink, plan, and orchestrate) sinking any queer relationship.
I can't decide if it's a choiceGetting swept awayI hear the sound of my own voiceAsking you to stayAnd all we are is skin and bone
In the song “swept” is used as a force stronger than individual choices.
Taylor is compelled by an overwhelming compulsion to ask her lover to stay. It’s not her choice, it’s encoded within her DNA. Asking her to stay is part of Taylor, not a decision by Taylor.
“All we are is skin and bone.”
We are the body systems that comprise us as humans. We are instinctual. Taylor has desire and passion for this love interest that is beyond her control. Skin is what society sees, bone is underneath giving structure and holding us up. On the surface the general public sees one thing. But underneath it all, the love is strong and foundational.
Taylor is saying this love is natural and inescapable. Just like the body systems that comprise us as humans lead to innate physiological outcomes. Taylor has desire and passion for this love interest that is beyond her control, even if she’s afraid of it.
Trained to get alongForever going with the flowBut you're friction
This slope is treacherousThis path is recklessThis slope is treacherousI, I, I like it
“Trained to get along.” Kids are taught overtly, passively, subconsciously to be socially acceptable. Kids start out open and innocent and have to learn to abide by society’s rules and norms. In this context, “trained to get along, forever going with the flow,” I think Taylor is talking about heteronormative assumptions. From the time we are young, society regards everyone as straight. Parents gush over their little girls having a little boyfriend. Moms save wedding items and baby clothes for when you get married and have children. People ask female teens what boy they have a crush on. There are too many examples to list. We are assumed, thus trained, to know nothing else but being straight. People who are not straight have to take an emotional journey to unlearn things that have been placed onto them that may not fit, and they have to effortfully learn who they actually are.
Taylor was major comp-het but this love interest is friction. The "you" in this song puts the breaks on the smooth, forward motion of societal expectations.
Taylor grew up in the 1990s and early 2000s before gay marriage was legal. When there was one mainstream lesbian rockstar played on the radio. When Ellen was celebrated for coming out, then promptly found no work for, reasons...
It's no wonder she regards this same sex attraction that makes her feel good as friction, a treacherous slope, a reckless path! This person introduces conflict into Taylor’s idea of who she is. She’s running smoothly along, being super-straight, dating boys, but then… She has this attraction to a women, which clashes with who she thought she was, and with her persona. But she can’t stay away, she was swept into the Sapphic love. This love is forbidden and dangerous. This woman makes Taylor feel like she’s coming undone because she has this strong attraction, but knows it will cause her trouble. There is an unseen exertion on these two women and they are pulled together (whether or not that works for them). No matter how much strife their love causes in each of their lives, the force cannot be avoided.
False God
We were crazy to thinkCrazy to think that this could workRemember how I said I'd die for you?
We were stupid to jumpIn the ocean separating usRemember how I'd fly to you?
Taylor knows she's ignoring the red flags! Crazy? Stupid?!
I still do it for you, babe
It's a persuasive statement.
They all warned us about times like thisThey say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith
It sounds like this car is about to crash. But it also sounds like Taylor is white-knuckling this vehicle to the more familiar and banal route she prefers, using words like, lost, blind, and faith.
we might just get away with itReligion's in your lipsEven if it's a false godWe'd still worship
There's a sense Taylor is doing something sinful (lips, hips = gay sex) and they're trying to be covert about it.
We might just get away with itThe altar is my hipsEven if it's a false godWe'd still worship this loveWe'd still worship this loveWe'd still worship this love, ah
The chorus mixes religious and sexual imagery showing that Taylor is willing to take on sin because she has to have the sex. The fact Taylor is thinking about this religious imagery during sex shows us that she's having a difficult time un-learning that guilt she was indoctrinated with. Even when they aren't around, narrow-minded teachings are in Taylor's head.
And I would put Dress in this category of the red flags due to outside forces not internal toxicity.
They got no idea about me and you
The implication is that the burden on this relationship is external. THEY are a problem. Right now they don't know, but what happens if/when they find out?
Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
I don't want you like a best friend
Inescapable, I'm not even gonna tryAnd if I get burned, at least we were electrified
This last line shows Taylor expects bad things are going to happen as a result of this relationship. She suspects she'll be burned, but thinks the price is worth it.
Everyone thinks that they know usBut they know nothing about
All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipationMy hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waitingMy hands are shaking from all this (ah, ha, ha, ha)
Taylor is INTO it. She wants this thing to work because she doesn't want to stop the sexing.
Even in my worst timesYou could see the best of me
This other person sounds like they treat Taylor nicely, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and seeing someone wonderful.
Flashback to my mistakesMy rebounds, my earthquakesEven in my worst liesYou saw the truth in me
This other person sees Taylor for who she is.
And I woke up just in timeNow I wake up by your sideMy one and only, my lifeline
This other person sounds like a very good influence for Taylor. She feels resuscitated by them.
I woke up just in timeNow I wake up by your side
Woke up from a dark night? The closet? Heteronormativity? I'm thinking Daylight.
Everything about the two of them sounds good.
My hands shake, I can't explain this
The attraction is off the charts. Taylor has never felt this level of libido before being with this person, the difference is unexplainable! It goes without saying that Taylor enjoys the sex and wants more of that.
The problem must be the homophobic THEY finding out, or the fear that THEY would find out.
Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
American glory faded before meNow I'm feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dressRunning through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboardAnd ran for my life (ah)
Politics have Taylor feeling disillusioned.
It's you and me, that's my whole worldThey whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl" (okay)
Seems like Taylor and this gal are each other's whole world. Except 'they' are whispering how she is bad for being with this other person.
My team is losing, battered and bruisingI see the high fives between the bad guysLeave with my head hung, you are the only one/Who seems to careAmerican stories burning before meI'm feeling helpless, the damsels are depressedBoys will be boys then, where are the wise men?Darling, I'm scared (ah)
Democrats are trailing in the polls, and Taylor sees Trumpers and Republicans out here looking like Disney villains. Yet, she says her and this woman she loves are solid and united. But they're scared. Why is Taylor, a wealthy, white woman with ties to Nashville and large business interests scared that the red is going to win the 2020 election? Among other concerns, it could be because Republicans are threatening to roll back rights and protections for LGBTQ people, and Taylor is in that group. Also, the Kushner or it all throws a stick in the wheel in Kaylor and sullies Taylor's brand, but let's just stick to the homophobic themes right now, shall we?
And now the storm is coming, but
It's you and me, there's nothing like thisMiss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (okay)We're so sad, we paint the town blueVoted most likely to run away with you
And I don't want you to (go), I don't really wanna (fight)'Cause nobody's gonna (win), I think you should come homeAnd I'll never let you (go) 'cause I know this is a (fight)That someday we're gonna (win), just thought you should know
Even though it looks inevitable that Trump will take 2020, Taylor still wants to run away with this female lover. Her delusions are cemented in the chant that she'll never let her go, and someday they're gonna win. Putting the JoshLie engagement aside for the point of this post, Kaylor couldn't work out purely because the politics weren't right. How would America's Sweetheart, one of the biggest music stars in the world, have a girlfriend? Under a Trump administration? While the Right are out here preying on the gays, stripping rights away? Taylor's love and career just wouldn't work under those constraints. Something would have to give. So yes, Taylor was too idealistic to think both same-sex love and a successful career could work out in this song (I don't make the rules).
Lavender Haze
I didn't add it at first, because I was all--YOU not saying much, it's YOUR fault. But no, this is another homophobia/outside forces killed the vibe.
I've been under scrutiny (yeah, oh, yeah)You handle it beautifully (yeah, oh, yeah)
Taylor, as always is watched and judged by everyone. This lover, unlike most ALLLLL the other ones Taylor has ever talked about, handles that pressure beautifully.
All they keep askin' me (all they keep askin' me)Is if I'm gonna be your brideThe only kind of girl they see (only kind of girl they see)Is a one-night or a wife
Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people sayNo deal, the 1950s shit they want from me
Taylor is happy to live in this in-between, but these people outside of the relationship will not stop putting their expectations onto her. They pressure her to marry and have children.
I find it dizzying (yeah, oh, yeah)They're bringin' up my history (yeah, oh, yeah)
If she doesn't marry up she's cold. When she dates casually, she's seen as a Slut! Taylor can't win. It's these outside opinions that cause her tension and burden her happy relationship(s).
Talk your talk and go viralI just need this love spiralGet it off your chestGet it off my desk
I think this is more to the media, fans, general public, maybe her management-Taylor will not move forward into something more serious than she's ready for. She says you can make your click-bait, you can write your proposal contracts, but she won't listen or heed. Taylor needs heartbeats under coats that lead to the pink and orange room...
That lavender haze, I just wanna stayI just wanna stay in that lavender haze
This one might be Taylor saying she was FIIIIINE, with whatever it was she and Joe had, leave her the eff alone about turning it into something more. But eventually the shouts to marry got so loud the who thing broke down. Taylor can't openly be with women, because homophobia impacts sales. But she also can't lead a quiet life with a longterm man, because heteronormative pressures. She was delusional in thinking any kind of haze would be accepted by theses outside forces always chiding her.
So to sum up
Taylor made a playlist that listed songs where she was in denial (usually that a relationship would work out). I pulled aside songs that weren't due to dating someone toxic, or agreeing to a less than desirable scenario. And I added songs from her Self-Titled album and Reputation that I thought fit that theme as well. This group of songs within the delusional list are all about Taylor's eternal optimism and hope that she will find a beautiful love and live happily ever after despite homophobia constantly pulling her (and her love interests) down.
Sources:
Daniel Bonn of the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands and the École Normale Supérieure in Paris investigated what makes quicksand so puzzling: easy to get in, hard to pull out.
https://phys.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/College_Physics/College_Physics_1e_(OpenStax)/05%3A_Further_Applications_of_Newton's_Laws-_Friction_Drag_and_Elasticity/5.01%3A_Friction
