You Don’t Get To Tell Me About Sad
After Taylor released her playlist for her 5 Stages of Grief in anticipation of The Tortured Poets Department album, it got me thinking about the songs she left off. Here are the ones I think belong on
Reputation~ I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life
This is how she described it:
“This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing the red flags possibly resulting in moments of denial and maybe a little bit of delusion… results may vary.”
other songs on the list:
Lavender Haze, Snow On The Beach (More Lana Version), Sweet Nothing, Glitch, Betty, Willow, Cruel Summer, Lover, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, False God, Style, Wildest Dreams, Treacherous, Untouchable, That’s When, Ours, Superman, Bejeweled
... Ready for It
I would put this on acceptance, personally, because she sounds very happy and confident in this plan. It's a bearding song with a secret love.
https://kit10phish.wordpress.com/2021/01/11/ready-for-it-lyrical-analysis-bearding-plan/
But another bearding song (Lavender Haze) and other hidden love/sex songs (MAATHP & False God) ended up here so for consistency, here it is.
End Game
Taylor is hopeful and starry-eyed that this new romance can work out despite the drama that precede her. There's been negative things said about Taylor and she comes with baggage:
Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy/I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me
This person got to Taylor's desires, intellect, and soul fairly immediately. Thus, this person also has the upper hand. Pertinent lines that show the idealism and attraction phase of a crush:
And I can't let you go, your handprint's on my soulIt's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is goldYou've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricksSo here's the truth from my red lips
Taylor tells herself she's in the mix to be picked as the final option for this beautiful person. The fact she's having to state her case is not a good sign. In an equal relationship things should organically evolve and both people should form attachments to the other. There shouldn't have to be a presentation about why one person should pick the other in the end.
I wanna be your endgame (endgame)I wanna be your first string (me and you) (first string)I wanna be your A-Team (be your A-Team now)
Delicate
this song could easily be in bargaining also. But there's a couple lines that pulled it firmly into this category.
This ain't for the best
We can't make/Any promises now, can we, babe?
Taylor knows this person can't/won't commit, and maybe Taylor can't/won't either (we).
But you can make me a drink
Is it cool that I said all that?Is it too soon to do this yet?'Cause I know that it's delicate
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share
Uh oh, trouble. Taylor wants this person all to herself. They occasionally leave for someone else though.
The following line is what puts this song in delusion rather than bargaining:
Sometimes I wonder, when you sleep
Are you ever dreaming of me?Sometimes when I look into your eyesI pretend you're mine all the damn time
There is a bit of jealousy of whoever the third person is. Does this woman ever dream of her or just the other relationship? Taylor deludes herself into fantasizing this is a two-person relationship. In her wildest dreams she has this gal all to herself.
And she's nervous and anxious for thinking that way, and wondering how the other person will take it:
Is it cool that I said all that?Is it chill that you're in my head?'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)(Yeah, I want you)Is it cool that I said all that?Is it too soon to do this yet?
So It Goes
Taylor has lost her head, so to speak. She is totally caught up in this person and their sexy fun times, consequences be damned.
Cut me into piecesGold cage, hostage to my feelings
"Hostage" has a negative connotation, like it's not what Taylor wants. I think it's because her queer sexuality can't be helped, but she knows it's detrimental for a number of reasons.
Back against the wall
Taylor feels trapped and forced. She is caught between her feelings & desires and her mind & outside pressures. She knows this won't end well, but she's doing it anyway.
Tripping, tripping when you're gone
You did a number on meBut honestly, baby, who's counting?Who's counting?(1, 2, 3)
This person leaves her for someone else and it hurts Taylor. Could be Liz to substances, Dianna for Michele/Mumford, Karlie for Josh, all of those, or none. Yet Taylor keeps coming back for more because she can't let it go. She is a romantic. This list shows that she wants the BIG forever love, and tries to bend whatever situationship is in front of her to her will, forcing it into the shape of her dreams. She says who's counting, then proceeds to count because she is well aware that this person won't stay, that this relationship won't be stable, and this thing cannot coexist with her career. But she just wants to keep cosplaying for a little while longer.
Gorgeous
This song is like the definition of 'I Love You, It's Ruining My Life'
You should think about the consequence/Of your magnetic field being a little too strong
You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)
You've ruined my life, by not being mine
And I'm so furious/At you for making me feel this wayBut what can I say?You're gorgeous
And you should think about the consequence/Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)
'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts(Honey, it hurts)
Ocean blue eyes looking in mine/I feel like I might sink and drown and die [Gold Rush, anyone?]
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeahThere's nothing I hate more than what I can't haveYou are so gorgeous it makes me so mad (mmh)You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeahThere's nothing I hate more than what I can't have
And just for funsies here's research that shows "gorgeous" mostly is used to describe inanimate objects, a trophy or champion ring, if you will.
It made one list but not the other... How could I forget
And I would put
Dress
in this category of the red flags due to outside forces not internal toxicity.
They got no idea about me and you
The implication is that the burden on this relationship is external. THEY are a problem. Right now they don't know, but what happens if/when they find out?
Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
I don't want you like a best friend
Inescapable, I'm not even gonna tryAnd if I get burned, at least we were electrified
This last line shows Taylor expects bad things are going to happen as a result of this relationship. She suspects she'll be burned, but thinks the price is worth it.
Everyone thinks that they know usBut they know nothing about
All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipationMy hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waitingMy hands are shaking from all this (ah, ha, ha, ha)
Taylor is INTO it. She wants this thing to work because she doesn't want to stop the sexing.
Even in my worst timesYou could see the best of me
This other person sounds like they treat Taylor nicely, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and seeing someone wonderful.
Flashback to my mistakesMy rebounds, my earthquakesEven in my worst liesYou saw the truth in me
This other person sees Taylor for who she is.
And I woke up just in timeNow I wake up by your sideMy one and only, my lifeline
This other person sounds like a very good influence for Taylor. She feels resuscitated by them.
I woke up just in timeNow I wake up by your side
Woke up from a dark night? The closet? Heteronormativity? I'm thinking Daylight.
Everything about the two of them sounds good.
My hands shake, I can't explain this
The attraction is off the charts. Taylor has never felt this level of libido before being with this person, the difference is unexplainable! It goes without saying that Taylor enjoys the sex and wants more of that.
The problem must be the homophobic THEY finding out, or the fear that THEY would find out.
