My Depression Category for TTPD

I know Taylor made lists categorizing the new songs from TTPD within the Stages of Grief.  I haven’t looked at those so that I could get my own sense of the feelings within each song.  It’s helpful to ascertain the vibe of each song by deciding the main emotion behind it.  Of course songs convey more than one emotion at a time, especially braided lyrics with different character and story strands mixed in one song.  But I tried to decide the primary stage of grief for each one, and learned a lot by pulling lyrics that back-up my opinion.  Let me know if you agree in the comments!

Depression

TTPD

LOML

Track 12

Stage of grief- depression and anger 

(oscillating between the stages, but the last line makes it a hint more sad than mad).

I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"/I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed [acceptance at the on and off, back and fourth, consistent problems]

Oh, what a valiant roar/What a bland goodbye/The coward claimed he was a lion [Anger]

It was unnecessary/Should've let it stay buried [Anger]

When your impressionist paintings of Heaven/Turned out to be fakes/Well, you took me to hell, too…/A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme [anger]

I'm combing through the braids of lies/I'll never leave, never mind/Our field of dreams,/engulfed in fire/Your arson's match your somber eyes [Anger]

I wish I could un-recall/How we almost had it all [depression]

…I can't get out of bed? [depression]

I felt aglow like this/Never before and never since [sad at the loss]

But I felt a hole like this/Never before, and ever since [depression]

And I'll still see it until I die/You're the loss of my life [depression]

Fortnight [2 wks]

Track 1

Stage of grief- overall depression

and no one here’s to blame [acceptance]

i hope you’re ok but you’re the reason [acceptance/anger]

my husband is cheating i wanna kill him [anger]

but what about your quiet treason [anger]

your wife waters flowers/i wanna kill her [anger]

i was a functioning alcoholic/’til nobody noticed my new esthetic [pain/depression]

i took the miracle move-on drug/the effects were temporary [stuck; wallowing = depression]

i love you it’s ruining my life  [denial Playlist title; depression]

now i’m calling out but you won’t pick up [wants contact/reassurance but let down = depression]

***all my mornings are Mondays/stuck in endless february [depression]

Clara Bow-

Track 16

Stage of grief- depression 

But I think I might die if I made it, [Excitement at the possibility of making it, but like the rose being the “it” girl starts the timer. Denial that it will happen to you.]

Beauty is a beast that roars/Down on all fours/Demanding "more" [It’s nice to be the prettiest, and the best, and at the top of your career, but the demands are strenuous, and nobody can withstand that for long. Anger.]

"This town is fake but…/Crowd goes wild at her fingertips [The industry portrays how it wants to be seen, but that’s not an accurate picture.  The fans don’t care about the costs, they want to be entertained. Anger.]

Them's the breaks/They don't come gently [It’s lucky to make it, but the cost of fame is harsh. Sad.]

"The crown is stained but you're the real queen/Flesh and blood amongst war machines [Being the “it” girl has benefits, but the downsides are huge. Sad.]

You'd be picked like a rose".../Take the glory, give everything/Promise to be dazzling" [Celebrities are chosen, and popular, but there is a cost.  Roses in the ground can live for a long time, but being picked means the rose shrivels and dies quicker. Fame is not sustainable. Sad.]

Only when your girlish glow/Flickers just so/Do they let you know/It's hell on earth to be heavenly [When the bloom is off the rose, the formerly beautiful “it” girl is thrown away. Sad.]

The Anthology

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Track 4/20

Stage of grief- depression 

You needed me, but you needed drugs more [Trying to cope with emotions by chemical escapism = denial.]

All to outrun my desertion of you [Unstable status, this isn’t the acceptance phase.  Running away from feelings = denial.]

Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?/Like it never happened [Being gaslit that it was never serious and it never happened?  Or the event is so painful, trying to ignore it and push it down so as not to feel it?  Denial.]

You said some things that I can't unabsorb [depression]

And I just watched it happen/…And you just watched it happen [Watching the person with other people, watching them go on to date someone who would be cruel to you, then just not doing anything further speaks to being melancholy.  It’s too hurtful to say or do anything, or fully acknowledge it.  Depression.]

If you want to break my cold, cold heart/Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"/If you want to tear my world apart/Just say you've always wondered [The theoretical questions go back to a time when there was optimism for the relationship. Neither person can rewind to that beautiful time.  Denial would be to pretend it IS that time of hope or have conviction things will smooth out and work again.  Bargaining, would be to urge the self or other to change to get back there. This song shows a despondency at how it all worked out. Depression.]

How Did It End?

Track 5/21

Stage of grief- Denial and Depression

We were blind to unforeseen circumstances [They were either ignoring red flags, willfully blind to reality, or they were focused on each other so much that nothing else could get in so they missed big problems.  They were not open-eyed.  They were not dealing with practical matters. Denial.]

Walking in circles like she was lost [Speaks to a sense of numbness.  Emotions have not been processed yet.  Stages of grief can be in any order and recur, but often the first thing that happens is shock/denial.]

I can't pretend like I understand/How did it end?/But I still don't know [Whether she didn’t see it coming or can’t admit to herself that it happened and things led up to it doesn’t matter.  Denial.]

How the death rattle breathing/Silenced as the soul was leaving [depression]

The deflation of our dreaming/Leaving me bereft and reeling [depression]

My beloved ghost and me/Sitting in a tree/D-Y-I-N-G [depression]

thanK you aIMee [kim?]

Track 8/24

Stage of grief- There’s actually a lot of pain and sadness underneath this anger.  Depressed.

I built a legacy which you can't undo/there's a moment of truth [Taylor has used the hate to further herself.  Acceptance.]

But she used to say she wished that you were dead [Angry someone made her daughter so upset]

And I can't forgive the way you made me feel/Screamed "Fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky [anger]

All that time you were throwing punches [wounding Taylor = sad.]

And maybe you've reframed it/And in your mind,/you never beat my spirit black and blue [Caused sadness]

That threatens to push me down…/And it was always the same searing pain [Hurt = sad.]

As the blood was gushing [Catastrophic event.  Hurt. Sad.]

And it wasn't a fair fight, or a clean kill/Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave [This person was cruel and mean and hurt Taylor. Sad]

Your words are still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head/I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool… /But when I count the scars, [This person’s opinions and mean actions get to Taylor and make her feel bad. Sad.]